A Letter To My Future Daughter

Dear Debby,

Mummy here! Just thought I would write you a little something even though you haven’t made your way to my arms yet. You may be wondering why I named you Debby? It’s because being your mum, I believe you have bits and pieces of myself in you! I believe you will be a fighter and win every war or battle just like me. Just like Deborah of the Bible who was a judge in Israel and fought for freedom over the Canaanites. Battles are best won first on your knees. Always remember that! A great lesson my mum, your grandma taught me. To be very honest with you, I have always feared having a daughter my entire life! But in the event God sends the little gift that is you, I would want you to know this: Your mummy might seem like a hero in your eyes, not flawed and absolutely perfect but that is far from the truth!

Probably the very reason I have never felt adequate or even worthy to be a girl mum! I am sure by now you may be wondering why I keep going around the phrases, ‘inadequate, and ‘fear’ I will tell you. For a start you need to understand that I have had a terrific relationship with the first women in my life that I was first exposed to, this being my mum (your grandma) and my only blood sister (your auntie) They have been the epitome of love, acceptance, support, honesty. They are raw as it can ever get and probably the reason why I love them so much.

‘Raw’- something if which they weren’t with me, I probably would not grow as a person and be the woman that I am so proud to be right now. Flaws and all. Yah, ‘proud’ that’s new mummy, you must be thinking! I am actually very proud of the woman that I am. My flaws brought me to this place of accepting the very core of who I am. I am forever grateful for that! That is why I would want to reiterate the fact that your mistakes, your flaws make you the best version of yourself.

How would you grow and be a better girl or woman if you didn’t embrace them? Mum,why do you sound like we are in therapy? Also, why are you telling me all these things? Me: What I am, my imperfections, my mistakes, my regrets blended together to make the Tabby you see today! It just dawned on me that the real reason why I have always been afraid of being a girl mum is because I never want my daughter to go through all the heartache and struggles women face in the world. Better yet, I would never want my daughter to repeat my mistakes. Almost feels like I want to be your hero and shield you from all the pain in the world! The truth though, I can’t Debby! I can only share with you what has worked for me and watch you navigate your way through decisions to curve out your own unique path! I don’t want you to be the perfect version of me! No! I want you to be the best version of yourself mistakes included. I want you to grow into the woman God purposed you not the world. I want to ensure I teach you about the faith so that when the world tries to dig its claws inside you, you will remember that there is a higher being that loves and cares for you even more than myself!

That’s what really brought mum this far! That’s the truth! That’s what truly works!

Debby, you will have to work probably harder than your male counterparts to fend for yourself no matter the career path you choose.

You will learn to love hard and forgive quickly because you will soon find out how flawed human beings are!

In the end, know that love will always win even when hate tries to creep in! True love comes from above! Without which it’s a façade!

Give baby, give it all away! Its God who gave you everything you have anyway and you will never know lack!

Most of all, embrace your womanhood! Nothing in this world matters more than you! Every bit of it!

Don’t shy away from taking care of yourself, you deserve it! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

After all is said and done, don’t give up even if your life depends on it! Don’t allow anyone to have the final say over you other than yourself!

Fight baby! This life is for the fierce! When you feel weak, look above and deep within! Don’t take no for an answer if you really believe in yourself and who you are!

Remember, you can #DoItAllBeitAll but the work starts inside first.

I will always love you!

Mummy!

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